Thursday, August 7, 2008

Dying trying to fit in!

So here I am studying in MMC. Unlike other universities in our country, MMC has very strict rules and guidelines when it comes to attire. We students are obliged to wear a formal attire going for classes which includes the traditional ‘baju kurung’ for the Muslim girls and blouses/collared shirt with slack pants for non-Muslim girls and for boys as well. Having to wear such covering attire most of the time, we Muslim girls especially, are expected to wear something decent at all times which I can simplify as one word, ‘tudung’. Since 90% of the Malay students here are wearing ‘tudung’, being one of the 'free-hair' Muslim students in MMC has been extremely difficult for me considering all the dilemmas I have gone through to fit in. Although, I believed at least a quarter of that 90% are just wearing it here simply because they thought it is compulsory in the first place. Not that it is not a bumpy ride still, but probably my days here are getting slightly better as I managed to squeeze out the juice of a terrible, most unspeakable year of my life. For me, getting people saying things such as “why don’t you wear tudung?” or “ kenape susah sangat nak tutup aurat ni??!” to my face is not something new. I must say that living with certain people who have typical way of thinking could really bring out the tiger in me at times.(Growwlll…) Frankly speaking, it is not their advices that kill me. But it is their typical perception towards free-hair girls that makes me so disappointed. Yes I understand their ‘concern’ of me committing sins, deepest gratitude from me, thank you. But then again, why would you even bother questioning people like me when most of the weird ‘things’ are committed by the ones that are covered from top to toe??! Somehow most people prefer to judge others by their appearances despite their pleasant attitudes. well, not to say that i have a pleasant one..heheh.. ;)But this type of people needs a total brain make-over and stop being judgmental. They should really learn that sometimes looks can be very deceiving. However, I am blaming nobody because I do learn a lot from them in terms of adjusting and adapting myself with the crowd. I have a strong belief of the fact that everyone can change on their own wills. And that it is just a matter of time. Me, myself as an example, thought of wearing ‘tudung’ at times, but unlike certain people who think of it as a mere piece of protection from bad rumors, I think of it as a trust that comes along with great responsibility. Apart from portraying the right image of Islam, it also demands for an admirable attitude from all aspects. Since I do not think I will be able to live up to the responsibilities and expectations just yet, so I think I should probably just keep my intention in view. Furthermore, the fact that some girls are only wearing it because they look nicer with the ‘tudungs’ on is definitely, without no doubt, ridiculous! I must admit that I often get that kind of response whenever someone is persuading me on wearing tudung. “Wani, you look cuter in tudung!” So? Am I supposed to wear it simply because I look good in it? How lame is that? So you see, people normally get the wrong concept of wearing ‘tudung’. Just by wearing ‘tudung’, you will become an instant angel. But when you are not, you became the most damned devil in the eyes of others. Don’t believe me? Give it a shot then. Trust me, you will be surprised of the outcomes. The next second, you will find yourself leaving a comment on my post saying “Wani, you are definitely right!” and I’ll be smiling while reading it saying, “you should have just trusted me..” Hence, it is never fair to judge anyone by their appearances just like the old saying, ‘never judge a book by its cover’ as ONLY God has the right to evaluate each and every one of us. Whatever a person does is a matter between him/her with the Almighty. Let’s not be prejudiced as there are always good in everyone.