New Year's resolution. Myth or reality?

It’s like a tradition that is devotedly passed on from a generation to the next. New Year’s resolution. Frankly speaking, I don’t even know why people even have a new year’s resolution. They barely realized whatever they have written on a piece of colourful paper pasted on their bedroom walls just across their bed! Give it a month or two, and that same piece of paper will be found lying on the floor. Or worst, they magically disappear! Don’t’ ask me how, ask yourself. Because I’m never the kind of person who have a so called New Year’s resolution. But I sure have my goals! Yes. To me, one must have an objective or purposes for every second they spend in a visible form of god’s greatest creations. I’m not saying that New Year’s resolution is a total waste of time. To certain people, it is actually their way of making sure they achieve everything they have well in planned. But then again, it only applies on certain people who are dedicated and discipline enough to ensure they fulfill their resolutions. The truth is, you don’t really need a New Year’s resolution to make an improvement in your life. Why? Because you do not need a reason to become a better person. We learned to find the better part of us as we grow our way to the time when we are left with wrinkles and not a single tooth. So, as I mentioned earlier, I do not have any New Year’s resolution. Even if I do, it has always been the same thing, which is, to become a better person in all aspects life demands. I would say that goals are my long term expectations on myself but hope is what I have close at heart while I explore the path to reach my goals. And that hope is the hope of god guiding me in making the right decision all the time. So if you were to ask me if I have a New Year’s resolution, I would say I have goals and hopes. But not fake promises to myself.

Apparently, she is not an opportunist.

How preoccupied I was these few weeks that I barely have the time to post a new entry. Pardon my delays. (a way of apologizing to my patient Ms.Nazreen..ehheheh. ;)) Anyway, back to our topic. So, this time around it’s “things I learned about myself this year” Well, actually I discovered quite a number of things about myself lately. However, to compress everything on this blank layout would take forever! So I am just going to highlight the obvious. Quite recently, I learned that I am not an opportunist. I stick to one thing that I’m satisfied with. From my love life, to my meals, up to my clothing! I tend to stick to that one particular thing for a long time until it finds its way to my disgust. Let’s take my meals for an example. Staying here in our college, we are left with no choice by the cafeteria when it comes to good meals. It has always been the same old meal over and over again. 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Since last year, the first time I had my lunch here, it was a plate of rice, with some curry gravy and a ‘ikan keli’(I wonder what they call it in UK?). It was the most satisfying meal for that one whole day. And I’m still having the same lunch ever since. Or at least a similar side dishes together with my precious ‘ikan keli’!!! My all time favourite. As far as I’m concerned, my loyal ‘ikan keli’ is still catering to the highest satisfaction of my appetite. So I decided to stay loyal to my ‘keli’ as well. And I’m definitely glad it is not swimming its way to my dislikes. Unlike my unfaithful ‘Roti boy’. I bet many of you are familiar with this brand. A famous bakery in Malaysia. The tagline reads, ‘buns to die for!”. They sure got that right. I, was once a passionate fan of ‘roti boy’ until I passed by one of its outlet in KLCC with my sister. I smelled the aroma in the air, and nonchalantly, I said to my sister, “somehow ‘roti boy smells like coffee huh??” she replied, “well, it should. Since it is made of coffee Wani..” (duhhhhh….) I was devastated as I’m not a fan of caffeine. I felt like dying learning the fact that my favourite bun is made of coffee! Again, they were right. ‘’buns to die for!” And guess what? That was the last time I even glance at ‘Roti boy”! I guess the same thing happen when it comes to romance. Probably it would not be wise to go into the details but I’m sure most of you get my point well. Right? Let’s just say I was happy with it until it successfully finds its way to my exasperation. Just like that aroma of ‘roti boy’. The difference is, I still have not managed to loathe it as much as I loathe ‘roti boy’. Eheheheh..;) yea.. a glimpse of my personals to share.

Home sweet home!!!

Although my home does not smell as sweet as how they always claim it should be, it is always the best place to be rather than anywhere else. Moreover, when I’m in the middle of facing turbulences in my everyday lives, my home is my everything. Nothing feels better than being able to sleep in my own bed, eating home-cooked meals while catching up with your loved ones at the same time. Well, probably not for most people. But any homey person like me could never agree less. For me, my definition of a perfect getaway would be watching movies from pirated VCD (since original ones cost more..) at home in my ‘kaftan’ eating rice with my mum’s famous ‘gulai ayam cili padi’(the dish I’ve been eating since as long as I can remember (pfffttt!!). Someone’s home is a place where he/she can be everything that he/she is not outside. A place where you keep all your childhood secrets and memories in a box written ‘my birthday box’ on it? Yes, unfortunately I’m one of that people who did those miraculous things. But actually I still keep all the things I want to be reminded of in the box sometimes. So that should be ‘do’ for present. Not past. Perhaps, a home might not be that sweet for certain people due to bad childhood memories. But I don’t think that we are capable of denying that a home is a major part of our life cycle on earth. Whether in a positive or negative way, it gives us unforgettable experiences to treasure. Spending most of my days here in Londang, looking at the same faces, solving the same mathematical calculations (and yet, I still confused 2x4 as 2+4????) and stressing my day out with tons of if-you-want-a-bright-future tasks, I always look forward to spending a nice, cozy weekend at home. It is no wonder why my roommates always say “it is the end of the world before she thought of spending a fortnight in MMC!”

A role model? Who’s yours?

A role model in my eyes is a person whom you adore and admire in many aspects. In other words, a role model is a person you want to emulate. Commonly, each and every human have their very own role models. But as for me, I couldn’t find a SINGLE person on earth that deserves my reverence. Instead, I found MANY! It sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? How can you possibly have many role models right? Actually, I really do. This is so because I’ve been learning from every single person around me my whole life. From different aspects obviously. Be it in the form of admiration or a lesson to learn, these people influence my changes and my development in many great ways. I’m not saying I possess many great values here, please don’t get me wrong. (Also not saying that I don’t have any). It’s just that, without them realizing it, these people have contributed a lot in refining my incompetence as well as my perspectives towards matters. My sisters for example, unconsciously accommodate me with a path of learning quite mane deals of life from their distinctive behaviors. From the taste of fashion, to cooking, up to the do’s and don’ts to survive this world of rivalry.(I sounded just like King Leonidas in ‘300’ with a very, very apparent set of ‘muscles’ on my chest don’t I?? :D) Back to the topic, so apart from my three angels, my friends have been a good example as well. Learning from my peers in this college especially, they thought me to be a hardworking and motivated student instead of being a professional procrastinator. Not forgetting, my lecturers who indirectly instill confidence and faith in me through their memorable words. Even the ‘mak cik cleaner’ thought me that a single penny demands for excruciating hardwork. My parents who raised me to be an independent and a realistic young lady just by doing exactly the opposite also taught me that nothing in life comes easily. Now my entry suddenly sounds like a piece of acknowledgement for a research paper. Great! So you see, this is why I can’t manage to find a particular role model. Why settle for just one when you can have them all? However, no matter how much you adore someone, be sure not to imitate him/her by changing everything about yourself. Because the last thing you want to do is to be someone else when each and every one of us are born special.

We are the major issue after all???

Newspapers are one of the most accessible sources of current issues. However, if I flip through the papers nowadays, I am expected to encounter political issues whether I like it or not. It’s not like we have a choice now do we? For most people, they might find it intriguing to read through our country’s political turmoil. But I’m sure thousands of others out there, including me, are not having the joy of our lives reading through something that might gives us the spook of knowing that our country is in a state of fluctuation. Despite the fact of political issues being the major current issue in Malaysia, we should not neglect other issues that also contribute a lot in our nation. I mean, if you really want to feed the nation with spooky stuff, why not make issues of gangsterism, social illness or human abuses as the front cover instead of putting up the faces of politicians? Clearly, these issues contribute as much as the political issues to the nation’s development. So why continue on torturing the minds of the readers with the same thing over and over again? I must say, seeing the same typical headline picturing the same typical topic is not the highlight of my everyday life. Subsequently, feel good news such as charity works, new inventions and achievements are never a bad idea to keep the citizens thankful of being a part of Malaysia. People always talk about one particular issue when it comes to current issue. But from my point of view, the most significant issue that we should be discussing is how the minds of our people get entertained easily over the disputation of others. Although I do believe some of us are reading these issues out of concern for the country, somehow it makes me sick how our people prefer to read about conflicts of others, not because they care for what’s happening in the country but simply because they enjoy criticizing people’s principles and the decisions made by them. As the nations are being fed with the kind of news that provoke the readers to think of other people’s problems every single day, it is no wonder they come up with the saying “Mind your own business!” I am not blaming or pointing at any particular party here. I’m just saying, if each and every one of us could set our minds right on knowing when and what we should expose our minds to, many issues could be resolved. Because if the citizens don’t spend a penny for the same ridiculous story, whoever causes the issue wouldn’t feel the need of doing so as it will fail in the attempt of attracting people’s attention. So you see, the people’s minds are the major issue after all.

Now that’s what I call a love story..

When I was first informed the topic for this entry, the first thing that comes to my mind is ‘The Notebook’. Yea..it’s kind of cheesy to write a review on a movie from a romance genre. But being a female I am, it should be fine right? ‘The Notebook’ is a romantic heart-warming movie directed by Nick Cassaretes. There is also an adaptation as well as a novel on the same title. Starred by Rachel McAdams as Allie Hamilton (young Allie) and Ryan Gosling as Noah Calhoun(young Duke), this movie was set on both past and present period. This award winning masterpiece kicked off the big screen in 2004. Although I have watched many romance movies but ‘The Notebook’ managed to make me all mushy with emotions as it has an incredibly interesting plot of love story just like the tagline goes, “Behind every great love is a great story”. Also casting James Garner (Duke/old Noah) and Gena Rowlands (Allie Calhoun/old Allie) this movie starts off with an old man reading a story to an old woman each day in a nursing home. The story being told is about a young lady of a wealthy family named Allie Hamilton and a boy named Noah Calhoun. These two young lovebirds had to go through tremendous hardships because of the vast difference of family status and backgrounds. Apart from the intriguing plot that keeps the viewers wondering for more, I must compliment the scriptwriter for the job well done. Some of the lines in the story affected me psychologically and emotionally. For example, there was this part when Duke asked Harry at the nursing home “How’s it hanging Harry?” Then, Harry answered “I keep trying to die but they won’t let me.” “Well, you can’t have everything.” said Duke. Woah!! That few lines really got me thinking of my old days and my future. Will I be wishing for the same thing as I grow old and covered with wrinkles? Kudos on that. I also asked myself questions like “Is there anyone in this world that would sacrifice so much for me?” and “Would I do the same thing for my husband?” Personally, if I were to be in the same situation as Duke, I’m not certain of what I would do. But considering my point of view towards love and relationship, I think I might probably do the same thing as what he did. After all, that’s what one should do as soon as he or she pledge for loyalty on the big day right? Putting myself in Noah’s shoes on the other hand, I’m sure I wouldn’t wait for a guy for over a year without any response or feedback. Because to me, as a young lady, I am ought to preserve my dignity. Thus, being loyal to something that is not promising enough is completely out of the question. In this movie it is extremely obvious that one would endure the pain and hardship for the sake of true love. It sure reminds me of several romance movies that I’ve watched such as ‘A Walk To Remember’. Which I still think that it is amazing how people would go to certain extent just to achieve such romance. I would love to lengthen this entry to enlighten the rest of you the contents of ‘The Notebook’, but it would kill off all the thrills and excitement now wouldn’t it? So I’ll just leave it to your sensitivity to decide. This is definitely the romantic movie of all time! Take my challenge! Spare some two or three hours in your schedule and let your emotions release the soft side of you.

It's all about the company..

I am never the type of person who’s into sports. But then again I know for sure that it benefits us in so many ways, from keeping up with our stamina up to getting the desirable physicals. As I don’t think I have any excessive fats to burn, I figured sports are not necessary for a living skeleton like me (a common nickname I got since secondary). I was actively involved in cheerleading during my former high school days though. Ever since, I haven’t found any sport that is intriguing enough for me to be committed to. O probably I have never got the chance to explore the sports which I find interesting.Even right at this moment, I have not a clue of what I should pen down when it comes to sports. Luckily my supervisor said “it can be about recreation and interest as well”. To me sports are merely a thing that I give a shot or two once in awhile. I do like outdoor activities however. Wide water rafting, wall climbing and diving are part of the plans I have in my I-must-try-this-at-least-once-before-I-die list. I would be overwhelmed with joy if I were given the chance to try them out as long as I don’t have to spend a single penny. Now that would be difficult isn’t it? Yea I’m aware of how impossible that sounds. Which is why I intend to fulfill my wishes as soon as I earn my own cash. It’s never too late to get involve with sports rite? Being a person who treasures her time alone observing people and nature or should I just say people’s natures, I enjoy travelling alone. You know, some quality time for myself. Just like Beyonce’s song, ‘Me, Myself and I’..(huh??) Besides that, road trips or vacations at sea side’s kills me! A perfect picture of easing my mind. Surrounded by virgin air, free from hectic traffic and torturing stress. Somehow I find it soothing being at a place as such. Obviously, this is not something I wish to do alone. Even if you’re at the most heavenly place on earth, but if you’re with the wrong company, you might as well just commit suicide! Imagine being in Vegas with a ‘Tok Imam’. He would be reciting prayers, asking for forgiveness while you are hopelessly picturing yourself hooking up with the girls and making a fortune at the Jackpot. You’ll die! Of course, he would rather die first. Just like what they always say, it’s not where you go but who you’re with. Absolutely true! So, I guess, no matter what you do or where you go, a good company will definitely make a difference. Perhaps I should find myself a good company for sports then. Anyway, I’d like to wish all the Muslims and Malaysians a blissful Ramadhan Al-Mubarak and Happy Independence Day!

Dying trying to fit in!

So here I am studying in MMC. Unlike other universities in our country, MMC has very strict rules and guidelines when it comes to attire. We students are obliged to wear a formal attire going for classes which includes the traditional ‘baju kurung’ for the Muslim girls and blouses/collared shirt with slack pants for non-Muslim girls and for boys as well. Having to wear such covering attire most of the time, we Muslim girls especially, are expected to wear something decent at all times which I can simplify as one word, ‘tudung’. Since 90% of the Malay students here are wearing ‘tudung’, being one of the 'free-hair' Muslim students in MMC has been extremely difficult for me considering all the dilemmas I have gone through to fit in. Although, I believed at least a quarter of that 90% are just wearing it here simply because they thought it is compulsory in the first place. Not that it is not a bumpy ride still, but probably my days here are getting slightly better as I managed to squeeze out the juice of a terrible, most unspeakable year of my life. For me, getting people saying things such as “why don’t you wear tudung?” or “ kenape susah sangat nak tutup aurat ni??!” to my face is not something new. I must say that living with certain people who have typical way of thinking could really bring out the tiger in me at times.(Growwlll…) Frankly speaking, it is not their advices that kill me. But it is their typical perception towards free-hair girls that makes me so disappointed. Yes I understand their ‘concern’ of me committing sins, deepest gratitude from me, thank you. But then again, why would you even bother questioning people like me when most of the weird ‘things’ are committed by the ones that are covered from top to toe??! Somehow most people prefer to judge others by their appearances despite their pleasant attitudes. well, not to say that i have a pleasant one..heheh.. ;)But this type of people needs a total brain make-over and stop being judgmental. They should really learn that sometimes looks can be very deceiving. However, I am blaming nobody because I do learn a lot from them in terms of adjusting and adapting myself with the crowd. I have a strong belief of the fact that everyone can change on their own wills. And that it is just a matter of time. Me, myself as an example, thought of wearing ‘tudung’ at times, but unlike certain people who think of it as a mere piece of protection from bad rumors, I think of it as a trust that comes along with great responsibility. Apart from portraying the right image of Islam, it also demands for an admirable attitude from all aspects. Since I do not think I will be able to live up to the responsibilities and expectations just yet, so I think I should probably just keep my intention in view. Furthermore, the fact that some girls are only wearing it because they look nicer with the ‘tudungs’ on is definitely, without no doubt, ridiculous! I must admit that I often get that kind of response whenever someone is persuading me on wearing tudung. “Wani, you look cuter in tudung!” So? Am I supposed to wear it simply because I look good in it? How lame is that? So you see, people normally get the wrong concept of wearing ‘tudung’. Just by wearing ‘tudung’, you will become an instant angel. But when you are not, you became the most damned devil in the eyes of others. Don’t believe me? Give it a shot then. Trust me, you will be surprised of the outcomes. The next second, you will find yourself leaving a comment on my post saying “Wani, you are definitely right!” and I’ll be smiling while reading it saying, “you should have just trusted me..” Hence, it is never fair to judge anyone by their appearances just like the old saying, ‘never judge a book by its cover’ as ONLY God has the right to evaluate each and every one of us. Whatever a person does is a matter between him/her with the Almighty. Let’s not be prejudiced as there are always good in everyone.

Life as a freshman in MMC..

A year passed by and now struggling in my final year of Two Year's Matriculation Programme in Malacca Matriculation College, has definitely taught me a lot about the distinct meanings of life. When I first stepped my foot here in Londang, I was hoping that this unfamiliar place of 'George of The Jungle' would have some similarities with London. Apparently, after the ordeal process of registration, I thought "okay, so it's not London? but at least the name is similar." On that culture-shocking day alone, almost everything I saw is not a nice sight to me, and that is even after I skipped the orientation week, it was not on purpose of course. I have a great respect for those who participated in the orientation week. They are warriors! On my first day of meeting my roommates, they had this 'so you think you are good enough to skip oreintation huh?' look on their faces. But i can definitely understand all the pains and hardship they had to go through as I, myself, have never enjoyed ice-breakings, creating logos or anything as such. I had great sympathy for my roommates until i attended the final session of the orientation that night. The orange-painted hall was covered with sounds and fury. hundreds of students in the hall chattering and screaming at the sight of their newly made friends. Somehow, they were jubilant to see each other and it seemed that they bonded in just 5 days. So on that night, i felt that maybe there is much more than meets the eye.
Spending my first year as a freshman in this college wasn't so bad afterall since there is no such term as seniors or juniors. Most of the students here are my age and some of them just a year older than me. As I am in the two year's programme, I didn't have a tight schedule compared to the OYP (One Year Programme) students. I didn't have to struggle as much as them. I had quite a lot of spare time compared to this year, therefore I had some good memories in bad ones and less stress studying. For example, we had a water breakage once. Lucky me, i was staying in a hostel block which was not affected by the water breakage. So most of the students came rushing down to my hostel block just to digest out the unwanted materials from their bodies. Those days was great moments for me and my roommates as we usually laugh at the sight of girls running with a constipated look on their faces. Pitiful, but rather hilarious. However, seeing their hardship, I realized that sometimes we have to work hard to achieve our goals, not to mention just to get our 'business' done.
Making acquaintances with variety of people from different parts of the country made me realized that different people have different ways of leading their lives. I made friends with a fussy girl, clumsy ones as well as ridiculous girls. Nevertheless, these people taught me to adapt myself with the unique behaviour of people from all walks of life. It is also very surprising how this networking taught me most of the new lessons of life that i have learned throughout my days here in MMC (Malacca Matriculation College). Although the life here in MMC could be a total struggle at times, but it has taught me the most important value of all, that is, never judge a book by it's cover and never be afraid of giving something a first try.